Size Zero

I was reading a book and it mentioned how the mother of the main character wanted her daughter to be small in weight, and perfect and blah, blah, blah. I remember watching Mean Girls and hearing one of the girls get upset because they couldn’t fit into a size zero dress (correct me if I’m wrong).

For the longest time, I thought of that as a goal. One day I’ll fit into a size zero dress. I’ll be weightless and thin and pretty! 

Yes, my younger self considered thin to be pretty. I got poked at for my weight more often than not and looking back at older pictures, I think the biggest bully picking at my weight was…me. To this day, every time I see a picture from the past, I cringe, call myself ugly…blahblah.

I remember when I’d pray, the biggest thing on my mind was praying I lost weight.

Anyways, size zero still sounded appealing. How lovely would it be to fit into a size zero? Whoa. That would be great.

Reading that in the book earlier made me open Google and search size zero models.

I was mortified at what I saw.

These women looked like they weren’t eating enough. Their ribcages showed and all their bones. I am absolutely scared.

Not because of how they look; no, more so because I wanted to be that once upon a time. More so because I related thin to pretty. More so because for the longest time society said ‘meet this unrealistic beauty standard’.

***Feel free to correct me.

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2 Responses to Size Zero

  1. I think your insight is really interesting – I’m sixteen and to be skinny is still a real aim. I used to look at my body and just see problems & extra fat everywhere until I thought of what my 65 year old future self would think! Bodies are bodies – and the fact that how much you resemble a beanpole seems to be such an important thing in society just shows how superficial these ideals are!

    Liked by 1 person

    • MuslimWoman says:

      I completely agree! It took me a while to accept my body and as much as I love it, I still have my down days when I wonder why I’m not ‘thin enough’. I hope you learn to accept your body!

      Liked by 1 person

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