I was reading a book and it mentioned how the mother of the main character wanted her daughter to be small in weight, and perfect and blah, blah, blah. I remember watching Mean Girls and hearing one of the girls get upset because they couldn’t fit into a size zero dress (correct me if I’m wrong).
For the longest time, I thought of that as a goal. One day I’ll fit into a size zero dress. I’ll be weightless and thin and pretty!
Yes, my younger self considered thin to be pretty. I got poked at for my weight more often than not and looking back at older pictures, I think the biggest bully picking at my weight was…me. To this day, every time I see a picture from the past, I cringe, call myself ugly…blahblah.
I remember when I’d pray, the biggest thing on my mind was praying I lost weight.
Anyways, size zero still sounded appealing. How lovely would it be to fit into a size zero? Whoa. That would be great.
Reading that in the book earlier made me open Google and search size zero models.
I was mortified at what I saw.
These women looked like they weren’t eating enough. Their ribcages showed and all their bones. I am absolutely scared.
Not because of how they look; no, more so because I wanted to be that once upon a time. More so because I related thin to pretty. More so because for the longest time society said ‘meet this unrealistic beauty standard’.
***Feel free to correct me.