I cannot tell you how long I’ve been afraid of the dark. There was just something about it that made me keep a night light on every. single. night.
It started off with those little night lights that you plug into your outlet. Then, we moved and I had a connected bathroom. It connected to my brother’s room as well and since he was also scared of the dark, we’d keep out bathroom doors open every night and keep the light on. That came to an end when out parents installed dimming lights.
I also had those glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling but, of course, they never glowed because the light was always on.
I hated looking out the window too. As soon as the sun would go down, I’d jump off my bed and close the curtain. While doing so, I’d turn my head the other way so I was staring at the wall and not the darkness while I blindly struggled to close the curtain. I took good care of them too. Made sure I never broke it like my brothers. That way, I’d never have to look out into the darkness.
I read this quote once and it said something along the lines of “no one is afraid of the dark; they’re afraid of what’s in it.” At first, I nodded my head; yep, yep! That’s exactly what I was scared of. The monsters lurking in the corner. But then I came to realize, the only monster I was truly scared of was Bloody Mary. So, why exactly was I scared of the dark?
I don’t have an answer to that just yet.
But I do have an answer to why I never ever slept with the closet door open. Or simply kept it open.
I did fear a monster would crawl out of there even though Bloody Mary lived in my bathroom. But I was more afraid of a human crawling out of there. Yes, a human. After all, that is more realistic. Sometimes, I’d inspect my closet to make sure a 30 year old man wasn’t curled up in the corner, rocking back and forth and staring up at me with blood-shot eyes.
Oh, if you’re wondering why I slept with the bathroom door open, it’s simple; Bloody Mary can’t come out when the lights are on.
But non-the-less, I’ve overcome this fear of the dark and can peacefully sleep with the lights off…during the afternoon with natural sunlight streaming into my room.